I'm not sure anyone reads this and considering the fact I haven't posted in over a year I would consider that a good assumption. Well we now live in VA and I LOVE the area but I just have no idea where i fit. I loved GA I joined a Mom's group the day we got there and attended our first playgroup two days later. I went EVERY single week until I made friends. It what you have to do. Well that was almost too easy here but now here I am at Belvoir and I've attempted the same thing but silly thing is NOTHING is active or they don't get back to you. I have made some awesome friends please don't get me wrong but I just feel like the pace of life is different around here and people are so spread out.
Aidan's school is amazing and he has made great friends. I even like their moms and enjoy spending time with them :-). We had a playgroup in our neighborhood for a while and I thought awesome this is it this is where I fit but that kind of fizzled out. I have a neighbor that I consider to be a great friend my kids love her and I truly enjoy being around her. She keeps me sane! Ok so now you're thinking what is your problem you just listed a few great options and yes they truly are but I still just feel like I need to be doing more.
I joined MOPs because it was the only group I could find. I truly love being a mom I feel it is my passion in life and I try to throw everything I have at it. MOPs is great that I get to talk to other mom's about being a mom and what makes me happy but the other part about MOPs is it is very religious and I just feel like I don't fit. I'm not religious and I don't pretend to be. I love my family with my whole heart and feel it is important for me to teach them right from wrong and how to be the best people they can be but I just don't have a walk with God. It's not who I am I think it is an amazing thing for some people but it just doesn't seem to fit me. It's not even the whole religious thing and yes that's part of it. I just worry they are thinking what is wrong with this girl. I'm sure they truly don't care but it's something I worry about. My other concern with MOPs is ALL Aidan does while were are there is is watch movies. I feel incredible guilt that he spends one of his 2 days every other week home with me, he is off in a room watching a movie for several hours. It just doesn't seem to fit. I am debating dropping out of MOPs the only group I "belong" in here.....
So now I feel like I need something more. I am getting short with my kids I never was like that. I feel like less of a mom I need an outlet for them and for me. I need them to play with other kids more and for me to have some time with other adults and talk about parenting. I wonder what more is there or me out there. I LOVE BEING A MOM! I LOVE STAYING HOME WITH MY BABIES! I LOVE TAKING THEM ON ADVENTURES! But I wonder if I should be doing more. I am and always have been too hard on myself. I worry I use fb too much which maybe I do but do you know I use it for I use it to find more things for my kids to do. I follow a lot of blogs and I also post a lot of pictures and "journal" aka my status about how I feel. I'm not doing it for anyone else I'm doing it for me but I feel like I catch so much crap about how much I use it. So I wonder what can I be doing, maybe if I could write somewhat decently (which I can't based on this blog) I could write a blog for military families highlighting things do around different military posts I wish I could find a way to connect to and help other moms while they help me. This is one thing I loved about meet up we were going places and doing things and connecting with other mom's that made us better moms in return.
I have now completely rambled but I feel better. I think I might start blogging more and I will let my feelings out. You can read or you can block me I won't know either way. Just like fb you can hide me and I'll never know and I'm ok with that. I'm also thinking of changing my settings so only certain people can see my posts I might feel better about things that way but I also worry about who I'll offend...enough rambling for today. I hope everyone has a happy and great 2013 and that I can find my place in this world again, for now I am off to hug my babies and remind them how much Mommy truly loves them!
You're an incredible mom Allison, I think it's really normal to move to a new place and have a hard time trying to find somewhere to fit in. We aren't religious either so I can completely relate to you on that level, it makes it hard to relate to other people, moms specifically. You are inspiring to me because of all that you do with your kids, and I think we all feel a little annoyed with ourselves from time to time about the amount of time we spend on technology. Like you said though, you are using it for something positive. Every person is their own worst critic and it's great that you know you're hard on yourself so you can give yourself a break. You have that adventurous spirit, I envy you! I don't take the kids out often enough, they spend too much time just hanging around the house. Anyway, I hope you find some more kindred spirits around there! :) You're a very fun person.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind words but who is this :-)
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